I'm to a point again lately where I feel spread thin. This feeling has me thinking "What am I doing?" Now, when this thought comes around I usually look at the many projects which I've gotten myself involved in or the groups I've committed myself to. When I do this it's to look at, as I see it, a safety net of life. This in my mind is a safety net which keeps me moving forward in a pursuit of knowledge, growth as a Christian, and development as a person. So what groups and projects am I apart of to develop, grow, and push me forward in life.
Here they are in no particular order.
First, is Maurice 365 my daily video blog a project in which I committed to simply make a video everyday for a year. This project has done and is doing what I want it to do. It gives me an outlet to stay productive on a daily basis. Sometimes it's just the act of doing something I've committed to do and other times it's a test of skills that I'm seeking to develop.
Second, My commitment to play Bass guitar at First Methodist Church in Clinton. I have not kept up with this commitment well. I have been there regularly, but last week and this week are nights that will be or have been missed due to my third commitment.
Third, The Detectives Mystery Dinner Theater. This group has been a gateway for me into the Jackson Art community and a growing point as an actor. It is one of the few instances where my only job on set and in practice is to be an Actor and focus on my part. I enjoy doing such and also have met many fun and interesting people because of it. I also have found out about two other projects from people in this group, the independent film "She is not worth it" and the 48 hour film challenge.
Fourth, would be Heroes and Dreams Productions. This group has been good support system and team of people who are also breaking into the film making and visual arts community. The store Heroes and Dreams already had some what of a foot in the Jackson community for being a good shop, and Jay's diligent work around the community with networking. I have and do enjoy my time with this crowd. Also, like that we are working as a team to become more professional in our production work on all levels from writing, directing, and acting to simple things like the flow of a shoot day. Also, the interest in Videography and Photography has been inspiring.
Five, Mundane Lives of Risk Takers this project has been fun to be apart of and see character ideas that I had a hand in developing come to life after being given to a talented witty writer. I have enjoyed the collaboration of this project and the exploration into different tactics and feel as far as shooting and editing go.
From here I look at the things which I have not kept up with well in the past year. Reading my Bible or quite time or disciple ship... whatever term we want to use I've not kept up with it well. Now, a problem I have is one I have personally chosen to not quote the Bible often on any form of blog, because honestly I feel like it gets over used and that lessons of morality can be taught by referencing other stories and writings sometimes and it would freshen up everyone's perspective and knowledge. I'm not saying I'm against it I just feel it gets over used and thus I try not to do such. Also, the sticking to a set plan has been bother some. I feel like I find a plan and it either feels spastic in it's approach to tackling the bible or it is underwhelming and is manly talk with one or two verses as reference. Okay, I feel I've beaten that point into the ground.
Next, I would say exercise. I made a Facebook post earlier about how I'm sure no one wants to hear me say this, but I need to hit the gym up. I feel like most of the above things have yes in some ways interfered with each other, but for the most part they are all drained of my energy and focus because of my day job. That is right I now work a day job. For much time I had apart time job which I worked on the side and worked five days a week, but as people got fired and I started driving all over the place day in and day out I took on more hours and then like a lobster being boiled I was slowly given more hours or took hours at a time which would help with other goals such as waking up earlier, and changing my schedule around to a day time on instead of a manly night owl life. The cooking like a lobster I reference was a change from working daily a shift of either 11-7 or 10-6, to working a 9-5, which was by choice to fit in the Bass playing at FUMC, but which became 9-6 daily once people were fired and it became needed. Now I don't think I'm necessarily complaining about work itself, sure I have issues with management, but heck who doesn't at any job.
What I'm complaining about I actually think is myself. this is the self exploration I've been lead to. A statement of Aron Ralston's from the video below has been stuck in my head. He says "We always make choices of what we want in our lives. So, for some reason I had wanted that experience." Now, Aron's experience was a life or death on, but cold mine not be also a fight for my own artistic and free living self? I know crazy and dramatic right. So, Percy Bysshe Sherry of me falling "upon the thorns of life," but I have to question what lead me to this point. The only thought I come to is a statement I made about myself years ago. I believe I said something to the degree of "I was not made to work a normal 9-5 job," I remember going on to explain that I "wouldn't do it" and "it would kill me." So, have I chosen to be in this position where I feel stretched thin working "a job to pay the bills" because I flat out said I never wanted to work a job for the simple sake of paying bills and getting by. I don't want to just get by.... as I've said before. Living the dream is one thing, but making it happen is the hard part. I'm still on the path of fighting for what I see as "The American Dream" for me.
-Maurice
